Pushing yourself

I just finished my first time of level 2 of the 30 day shred and all I can say is OH MY GOD I WANT TO DIE! I can't believe there are people out there that do this every single day, crazy peopel!

I was unsure whether to start level 2 or continue a bit further with level 1. But as a forum friend pointed out, it is important to push your body. It was almost like hearing Jillian herself, and of course she was right! However, right now I can't imagine doing level 2 one more time, but hopefully the feeling will pass by Thursday, when I've planned my next level 2 date.

Like I said, I had my doubts about this, as I still think level 1 is hard enough. But still, I did manage to complete the whole thing (with a couple of small breaks), and I am very proud of myself right now! :)

Getting back on the horse

Last time I blogged, I was heading for Jordan. Now I'm back, but after one week of vacation, followed by one week of a really bad tummy bug, followed by Easter with lots of candy and parties and good food - well, let's just say my motivation is NOT back! And of course the fact that I've gained weight doesn't help much, either.


Nature based stock photography



I think it is unfair that it takes so much more effort to get in shape than it does to "fall out of shape" again. I've been SO good most of this year, but a couple of weeks of bad choices has wreaked havoc on my blood sugar levels. My motivation has gone down the drain and it feels like I'm trapped in a maelstrom of bad choices. Up until recently, I hadn't been eating candy this year, and was finally able to say no to sweets that were right in front of me -  a feat that I've never been able to do before. But now, I'm back to mindlessly binging on sweets and comfort food.

Before going on vacation, I had spent a lot out time working out, and was on day 7 of level 1 of The 30 day shred. When I started up again last Tuesday, a mere two weeks after the last time I'd worked out, I could barely complete it. My whole body felt like lead, and I had to take lots of breaks. I just hate that two weeks of vacation destroyes months of good work! Yes, I know it's not really like that, and it will get easier soon. But right now I can't motivate myself to work out, because it just feels like there's no point, I'll never get in shape.

 

I guess that is the most scarey thing about these relapses - how they tear down your motivation. Somehow, once you've started down that slippery path of "I'll just try one tiny little one", you're flooded with thoughts like "I've ruined it all" and "I can never loose weigtht" and "now that I've eaten one I might as well eat the whole package".  Those are the real culprits, not the slip-ups themselves.

I just wonder why it is so much easier to start eating crap than it is to start eating healthy! Is it because we're more used to eating crap than to eating healthy and it's hard to break the habit? Is it because our bodies are wired to store fat and not shred it? What can I do to make it easier in the future? Is there any way to do it without willpower, because my willpower is dead and buried at the moment.

Well, even though it's hard, I refuse to give up! So I've come up with an action plan to get me back on track:

1) Weight loss/sweet tooth hypnosis

When I started my weight loss journey in January, I also listened to a sweet tooth hypnosis mp3. I don't know if that did the trick, or if it was my motivation, but up until recently I've been handling sweets and craving better than ever before in my entire life. So I kind of believe it's at least partially effective. So I've ordered a few more hypnosis tracks on weight loss and hope that they will jump start my motivation.

2) Keeping a food journal

I know that when I log everything I eat, it's easier to say no to the worst temptations. When I mindlessly gulp down everything in sight, I mentally discount the calories (or sometimes I just don't care). When I log everything, I'm forced to see the consequences of my actions, and that keeps me more in check.

3) Adapting the plan to fit me NOW

I was following a plan that worked before going on vacation, but right now my needs are different. Because I have been used to eating more, I am more hungry early in the day. When I try to stay on plan, I end up with cravings and binge eating. So now I'm moving up my evening meal (which I don't really need, I'm usually not hungry after dinner) and I'll have it when I'm actually hungry, when I'm at work. That should be better for my energy levels, too, and perhaps for my sleep as well, as my stomach won't be busy digesting food all night.

 

4) Work-out challenges

I've somehow got to get used to working out again. I've joined a 30 day shred challenge on a local forum, and hope that will help me get back on track. I've also joined a national challenge called "ride your bike to work", where you're part of a team and can win prizes for being more active. I'm hoping that having others relying on me will help me get off the couch.

5) Work on my thoughts
I know that the core to the problems lie in my brain, not my body. So I'll be using the Beck diet solution to help train my mind to work with me, rather than against me. I started this a while back, but somehow forgot about it. So now it's time to dust of the covers and give it another go!

6) Healthy snacks

 I have to break my bad snacking habits. And as we all know, it's easier to toss out a habit if you replace it with something new. So I'll buy tons of fruit and vegetables - sugar peas and physalis are my favorites! That way I'll have something healthy to eat when my cravings kick in.




These are all easy changes that I should be able to implement without much trouble. Hopefully they'll help me get back on track.

30 day shred and vacation-time

My preferred workout these days is the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels from the Biggest Loser. I just finished day 7, and I'm happy to say that I'm actually seeing improvements! :) Now, I can do more of the harder exercises and less of the modified ones.

When I started out I didn't dare try 'real' push-ups, but did the easier version instead. Now, I'm able to do 15 hardcore push-ups before I have to switch to the modified ones. That might not seem like a lot, but it's a great improvement for a wuss like me! I'm in horrible shape, and I have absolutely no strength in my arms whatsoever. I'm changing that right now! :)

I didn't follow everyone's advice on taking before pictures and measurements... But now I'm starting to regret it .... I'm going away on a vacation to Jordan in a couple of days, so I might do semi-before pictures and measurements when I get back. I hope I'll be able to see at least SOME changes when I've completed the 30 work outs!

I'm leaving on Thursday, and I'm contemplating whether to have my last work-out on Wednesday, or just skip that one. On one hand, my body always feel very heavy the day after a work out, and I want to feel my best when on vacation. On the other hand, I want to work out as much as possible before I leave, because I know that I'll probably gain some weight while I'm away. I will try my hardest to maintain my current weight, though - I won't even dream about losing weight (well, it IS hard to stop myself from day dreaming!), because all experience tell me this is impossible.

I won't be too strict with myself, because going to a new country is also about trying all the delicious foods that you don't get at home. That is a very important part of a culture! But I will stay away from candy and empty calories as much as I can. And I'll probably move around more that usual, so maybe it won't be that bad overall.

I'm looking forward to sun and warmth (no more snow! :) - and it better be gone when I get back, too!). But I'm not looking forward to wearing a bathing suit again. I'm currently at what was, until last fall, my all time high weight. So I have a long way to go before I'll be small enough feel comfortable at a beach. Though, to be honest, I'm not sure I'll ever get there.... But, I won't let that stop me from enjoying the vacation. I refuse to hide away just because I'm overweight!

However, come to think of it, is Jordan one of those countries where women wear burka? In that case I might just get a burka swimming suit.... Just kidding! :) But I have to admit part of me wants to hide away in something like that rather than wear a bathing suit. And I know I have to work through these feelings somehow, because I don't think they'll just magically disappear once I've reached my goal weight.

Oh well, that will have to be another day, I'm practically falling asleep at the keyboard, and I still have to shower after my work out.

Good news, bad news and motivation?

Well, I've changed my mind about Tanita. I now officially HATE it! (split personality? me? No, I'm sure you're thinking about one of the other me's :P). I had my weekly weigh-in today. The scale showed 0.4 kg down and I was feeling pleased with myself. That is, right up until the point where I started punching in all those other numbers, and found out that I had GAINED 0.25 kg of pure fat since last week! :(


Now I'm in a bad mood. So much for motivation! I have to say I doubt it, though. When I sneak weighed-in a couple of days ago, Tanita said I had lost 0.3 kg of fat. So that would have to mean that I have gained 0.5 kg of fat in a couple of days, while eating much less calories than I should. Sounds unlikely.

I guess Tanita isn't as trustworthy as I thought. And that I'll have to look at the longer trends, and not from week to week. I know, I know, it's what everyone says you should do. It's pretty annoying, though, as I bought this thing specifically to be motivated on a weekly basis. I bought it so that when my weight wasn't moving, I could still see a difference. And here my weight IS going down, and Tanita makes me lose my motivation. Oh, the irony!

Here are my stats this week:

Weight: 80.7 kg (down 0.4)
Fat percentage: 40.5% (up .5)
Fat in kg: 32,562 (up .25)
Muscle mass in kg: 11,3104 (down .1)
Muscle fitness level: 3 (no change) (higher is better, my goal is 8)
Visceral fit:7 (no change) (lower is better)
Base metabolism in kcal: 1490 (down 16)

I can see that this obsession with those numbers isn't very good. I went from being happy to miserable in no time. Now, I'm thinking "what's the point" and "I'm never gonna make it so I might just as well pig out". I'll really have to work on my motivation today!

Well, at least there is a good lesson in there somewhere: Don't use external factors that you can't control as motivation. But it is SO hard! How much I weight is a very tangible goal. And the fact that I've done really good this week, made mostly healthy choices, it's all a means to reach my weight goal. I know I'll get a healthier body in the end, but I also want assurance that I'll reach a healthy weight! Is there anyone out there who's cracked this and found good ways of motivating? In that case, please share the secret!

Weight loss vs fat loss

I love, love, LOVE my new weight Tanita BC-532! :D

Right before I started this blog, I had reached a weight loss plateau (always fun - NOT!), and hadn't lost an ounce in well over a month. I was trying to console myself that my regular weight just 'remembered' my old weight (I'm quite sure it does that - no kidding!) or that I was gaining muscle or just plain bloated. But after weeks on end, trying everything I could think of to loose weight, my motivation was getting low and I was about ready to give up.

So I thought I needed some new sources of inspiration as the scales weren't doing it for me. I decided to buy a Tanita weight that shows fat percentage, muscle weight, water weight and so on. I figured this would give me no excuses, and if I was indeed not losing fat, I would know for certain and have no more excuses. I would just have to figure out what I was doing wrong.

About the same time I started counting calories again. I don't know if that did the trick or my body just finally gave up plateauing, but I started losing weight again around that time. But by then I was so obsessed with buying a Tanita weight (quite sure I couldn't live without one, as often happens when I want something), so I decided to go ahead and get one anyways.

It's been about a week, and as I've decided to weigh myself on Tanita only once a week, I haven't tried it that much yet. But I loved the first weigh in, I made sophisticated (for me!) Excel charts showing how much fat I would have to loose each week to reach my goal for the wedding, and showing differences from week to week along with every other tidbit I could get from it. To reach my minimum goal weight, I have to loose about 0.3 kg each week. I have to say I thought I'd get more leeway than that! Oh well, I WILL do it! :)

Anyways, yesterday I went out to dinner with my sister. When I got on the scale today, it claimed that I had gained 0.6 kg in just a day! (I weight myself daily on my regular weight). Well, deep inside I KNEW that it was impossible, after all it would have to mean my dinner har 4900 kalories! Hardly likely for a chicken wok! :P

But then, there were this little voice inside my that started worrying: What if the weight loss you've had the last week was wrong, what if this is your right weight? What if you haven't gotten past the plateau after all? What if you're actually gaining? What if, what if?


Tanita to the rescue! I skipped my "only once a week" rule and hopped on, only to find that my weight had indeed gone up. However, it was water weight from the salty foods, most likely. Because I had lost 0.3 kg of pure fat from last week! So then I could get rid of those nagging fears one and for all (or until the next time this happens, that is).

I hope Tanita will be a tool to help me stay motivated. I am determined to make it this time! I really feel motivated now that I'm finally losing again. I think I can do this, I WILL do this!

Starting point

When I started out in January 2011, I weighed more than I have ever done in my entire life - 86 kg! I started working out and following a Weight Watchery regime on my own. (I'm Norwegian, and here the concept is called Grete Roede, after the woman who started this type of weight loss classes). A year and a half ago, I attended these classes, but this time I'm doing it on my own.

Well, we're now at the end of March, and when I weighed in this morning I'm down to 81,1 kg. I'm getting married sometime in the late summer of 2012, and my goal is to weigh between 55 and 60 kg by then, and of course have a healthy percentage of fat on my body.

I love following different fat loss blogs, and I hope that by writing my own I'll be more motivated to stay on track! :) And hopefully people can learn along with me about good and bad weight loss strategies.